Miley Cyrus to take a deep breath and host 'SNL'

Miley Cyrus has signed up to host "Saturday Night Live," and the Ministry wants to know: Will the "SNL" writers be free to write bong jokes? Or is that, like, pretty uncool?

People didn't mention whether the March 5 monologue would mention salvia but did confirm that there will be a separate musical guest who is not Miley Cyrus � possibly freeing her up to also make an appearance on "SNL's" "The Miley Cyrus Show," a sketch that mocks, well, Miley Cyrus.

The whole salvia-bong thing back in December, though legal and not radically unusual, was a mistake, she told Marie Claire recently. "I'm disappointed in myself for disappointing my fans," Cyrus said, noting that in contrast to many others her age who might consider salvia smoking no big deal, she's a role model.

"So for me it was a bad decision, because of my fans and because of what I stand for."

What she stands for, the Ministry has divined, includes no vampires, no Twitter, no more "Hannah Montana," no problem dating a costar, no hassle from your parents (at least most of the time), no underpants, no more good girl and no bra when meeting the queen � though, oddly, yes to cadmium and yes to international beer � all positions clearly at odds with bong smoking.

Miley fans who can't yet stay up late enough to watch "SNL" can see their idol sing with Justin Bieber at Madison Square Garden in "Never Say Never," the just-opened 3-D movie of his life.