Miley Cyrus Arrested with Flan in her Panties

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23 July, 2010 - In a vain attempt to visit Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus was arrested at the Lynwood Correctional Facility after a routine search revealed a serving of flan in her panties. �What�s THIS doing in your panties?� screamed one guard, removing the still warm custard dish from between Miley�s legs. �Who�s this for, you nasty bitch?� Another hidden desert item was discovered during a more thorough cavity search and Cyrus was arrested and taken downtown for booking.

Reportedly, Miley quickly broke down into tears and confessed to trying to smuggle the desert to Lohan, who supposedly just loves the stuff. �She can�t get enough of it,� said a close friend who declined to be identified.

According to reports, Miley planned on taking advantage of one of Lohan�s allotted conjugal visits and allowing Lohan to discreetly consume the decadent dish from between her thighs. �I was just trying the help out a friend,� she weeped as she was charged with attempting to smuggle contraband into a correctional facility.

Close associates of Miley say they aren�t surprised by the development. �She�s been a little high-strung lately. She�s so sexually restrained, she coming apart at the seams,� said a fan club president. She was part of a fan club group who earlier in the day were invited to Cyrus� home for gourmet chocolate mousse and some juicy gossip for their blogs. But, a close friend who preferred to remain anonymous put it more bluntly. �She needs to get laid and bad! She�s been doing some pretty wacked shit around here recently ! Hell, last week she was photographing herself pissing on an ant bed and yelling, �Worship me you bastards!�

Miley�s booking was interrupted when father Billy Ray Cyrus and a lawyer intervened with a forensic analyst in tow. After a quick analysis, it was determined that the �flan� was simply a mass of congealed semen. �We suspect that after a rather amorous evening with a couple of dozen male fans, Miley�s perpetually hot pussy cooked the substance to the consistency of flan. In an effort to divert attention from the fact that she�s a slut, she concocted the bogus flan story,� said Cyrus� lawyer.�And being a slut ain�t illegal!�

�That�s RIGHT,� screamed Billy. �My daughter may be a slut, but she�s no felon�wait what?� Miley was released without charges, but several fan club members had to have their stomachs pumped once they heard the news, �That ain�t chocolate mousse, either!�
source: spooftimes.com